Do you ever been hurt because of the friendship problems friend who was too honest, stab your back or forgot your phone number the millisecond she found a boyfriend? Then you know all about the emotional fallout when someone breaks the friendship code rules that usually go without saying yet cement a friendship for life. All the bitter sweet memories you’ve been through together watching girl movies, great holidays, dancing the whole night, shopping in your bored weekends it’s the way you behave through thick and thin that really keeps a friendship going. Arghhh I really miss that happy moment. Well, as time goes by, when we’re getting older life change and everyone follow their own future, staying far away, so the friendship promising was left behind.
How to nurture your relationship even both of you stay far away? And distance is not a good reason to end your friendship that likely to last for many years. In any friendship, cold and harsh things come and go to see how stronger that relationship bonding either you or your friend making mistakes, fight and lastly forgive each other. But what if one of you breaking the most critical friendship rules and makes a permanent damage to your friendship? Here are some tips to consider if you want to nurture your relationship with your best bud. Follow this rules and your friendship will become closer and stronger through the year.
1 Avoid unsolicited advice. First thing to understand; Never give an advice or opinion if you’re not asking for it no matter how close you are. One important thing to know being a friend doesn’t give you license to act like a life coach. So don’t tell your friend what to do how to improve her career, find a boyfriend or get a new lease on life. Remember, no one wants to be lectured about their worst habits even myself – it makes them feel hopeless, embarrassed and says in big neon letters you’re getting on my nerves . It’s better ask your friend what she thinks would help her life, instead of telling her what she should be doing. At least this will make her feel you have her support while prompting her to come up with her own solutions.
2 Give her space. Feeling fear or jealousy often happen in a close friendship. Your best friend has made arrangements to go out with her sister/work colleague/boyfriend this weekend and you’re not invited. You feel like she’s cheating on you and suddenly find yourself acting quiet and sullen. This feeling always happens to some people because their fear to be replaced when they realize that someone close to them has other significant relationships that can be threatening. Just a boyfriend and girlfriend can benefit from quality me time alone close friends can benefit from quality time with other less intimate friends. Then when the two of you get together again, you’ll have even more to talk about and your friendship will feel fresh and replenish.
3 Don’t just remember her birthday. Even you and your close friend are busy with life; try to remember important dates or events she’s got coming up. Note down together in your daily reminder, so you won’t miss like the job interview, or her coming big presentation. Showing her that you’re interested in what is going on in her life is one of the nicest gifts a friend can give. Making the effort to remember and ask her about those important events is the ultimate in thoughtful follow-through and will nurture your relationship by reminding your friend how much she matters to you and features in your thoughts.
4 Forgive and forget. You must remember when your best friend, somebody you trust and love betray you or fighting because of misunderstanding or argue about some things which really make you annoyed about all the bad times. But how about yourself? Chances are you’re not saint either. Do you realize sometimes you may hurt her feelings accidentally or do something else that gets on her nerves? Let’s hope not. Human is not perfect. Remember that you and your friend is only human and sometimes do a mistakes. For a friendship to work, you need to cut each other some slack and accept sometimes she’ll slip up. Every time you think about something upsetting your friend has done, view the incident from distance, without feeling anything about it. Meanwhile, think loving thoughts about your friend and visualize times she has supported you or made you laugh and happy times you had spent together.
5 Boost her ego. Does your friend look fantastic in that new dress? So, tell her. Has she propped you up through every agonizing breakup you’ve ever had. Though we spend much of our time with our best bud with girl talk, at a deeper level, we hang out with friends because they make us feel good about life and good about ourselves. Take every opportunity to tell a friend how great she is. Don’t skip on detail instead of just saying Thanks for listening. It’s means a lot to me. Hope you know I’m always here for you in the same way. Boosting a friend’s ego is a win-win situation. Your friend will not only appreciate the fact you don’t take her for granted, but your praise is likely to encourage her to praise you in return so you will feel better about yourself too.
6 Stay close when her life change. These situations always happen to a married woman especially when she gets married earlier other than her friends. Some woman think that a married person are likely to changes, so don’t want to keep in touch anymore. Otherwise, they’re still the same. So, if your close friend is married, it doesn’t mean you friendship is end. Try to understand and give support to her new life and this could bring your friendship closer than before. If you want to maintain friendships you need to be flexible and realize that life doesn’t stand still. When a friend undergoes a life change you may feel as if you’re being left behind. But give her support through the change and your friendship will have a whole new dimension new things she can share with you and new things you can learn from what she’s going through.
7 Know when to lie. Well, everyone’s lying. Hehehehe I didn’t say you have to be a liar all the time, but in certain situations, you have too. When your friend in tears because she think her boyfriend dump her because her bad attitude or has had a haircut from hell, or feeling sad because she’s gained weight, you’ll be the first one she turns too. If she asks you straight out what you really think – take a deep breath and lie as well as you can. If she’s already feeling down, a full-frontal reality check will only make things worse. Instead she needs comments that will encourage, buoy her up and minimize her fears and regrets. What if she keeps pressing the point? J You know what to do. Just tell her the truth. Maybe that’s really what she wants for you to give her plenty of reasons to buck up, stop worrying and feel better.
8 Be a good listener, don’t just talk. People always say that, good listener is a good friend. When you catch up with your friend, does she get a blow-by-blow account of your day, your new perfume and the lipstick you just bought before you even bother to ask her what’s new? Then do you actually invest in what she’s saying or do you find a way to bring the focus back to you, you, you? If so, this could be the kiss of death to longevity in the relationship. Few things are more boring than a person totally absorbed in themselves, their life and their own strong opinions. To be a good listener is not easy. We all have to work hard on it; and the easy way to do this is to verbally respond when a friend tells you something, so that she’s sure you’re listening. Take an interest; ask how she’s feeling now and what she thinks she might do. This is called active listening and it’s the foundation on which long-lasting friendships are built.
9 Never bitch behind her back. We all know it’s really hard to forgive if someone we trust that very close to us stab and talk bad behind our back. It’s like you betray the friendship. And once you did it, even a little gripe could seriously damage trust. If it ends up doing the rounds she’s bound to hear it and will feel stupid and let down that her best friend has been bitching behind her back. Then a throwaway comment could become a watershed moment that permanently damages the friendship even though it was not a burning issue in the first place. So, if you best friend really overstep the mark this time, try to talk face-to-face with her and tell her you’re not happy or comfortable with what’s going on. Try to have a good conversation and solve the problem in peace without scratching each other.
10 Stay connected. Other than you veryyy busy, losing your phone or don’t have a credit, what’s the best excuses you can use instead of just picking up the phone and calling a friend back? If you’re really desperate, it’s ok by send a sweet SMS to her to remind that you still in touch with her. You also can make a short call and you’ll catch up properly later. Your friend will feel special and needed even though your phone was only short and sweet.
There are other ways to nurture a friendship as well. Saying something thoughtful when a friend has had a bad day or sending her a card to say I’m here for you when she’s split from her man will reassure her that she’s special to you. In the long-run she will not only reciprocate by giving you support when you need it, but her closeness will improve your self-esteem, when she feeds back to you how important you are in her life.
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